Godly Leader Series: Loving People Even When it's Difficult

As Godly leaders, we need to be able to lead the people in our lives: clients, our team, and our family. We are called to practice patience and love all people regardless of the situation.

How do we shepherd our family, take care of our team, and lead clients through transactions? Is it possible to love people even when we feel we’re in opposition? 

In this episode, we talk about approaching challenging interactions with self-control, confidence, and grace

If you love only the people who love you, you will get no reward. Even the tax collectors do that. (Matthew 5:46)

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. (John 13:34-35)

3 Things You’ll Learn

Embracing the mindset of loving your enemy. We explore the idea of choosing to love your enemy for the greater good.

Why do we need good people in our lives? There will always be difficult situations, having a circle of support can help.

Practice patience in all situations. Surrendering our desire for a specific outcome and leaning into patience can yield massive rewards.

About Our Guest

Cody Persinger is a team leader, investor and the owner of The Persinger Group. He is really focused on the values which exist in Keller Williams, which is God, family and business. He is passionate about serving and loving people. For more information,  follow @cspersinger25 on Instagram and connect with him on Facebook. 

Interested in Group Coaching from a Biblical Perspective? Click here to learn more and have a quick chat with Garrett to see if it's a good fit! faithfulagent.com/chat

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Transcript

Welcome back to another episode of the faithful agent podcast. We are glad that you have joined us today. Once again, I've got our amazing guest host Cody person here we call him short shorts. What up short shorts.
Oh, guys,
it's good to have you here, buddy. And we've got Tyler Wilson chiseled chin, and I've laughing because I'm not sure he wants to be. But I agree with Gary professional. He's a professional and so he's gonna bring his A game regardless. Right? See how nice you always
have great days. But yeah, that's right. Better,
you better Good job. chiseled chin. Nice. Happy to be here. I am glad that you guys are here. My name is Garrett Maroon. We're going to dive right in and continue in on our topic about what does it look like to be a godly leader specifically loving to those that we lead. And that means in our context, right agents is the people we interact with on a day to day basis, our clients, potentially you've got a team, your broker, your co broker, right? The other agents that you're working with or admin staff, what does that look like today? And we're going to dive into that using Matthew 546 and John 1334 to 35. But let's do a few quick jokes. And we will dive right into it. So Tyler I know you're feeling the laughter today, my friend. Why don't Why don't you go ahead and give us a good Christian joke.
I love my back at the cereal box joke here. What did pirates call no it was boat.
We are
it's funny, but also you're just your enthusiasm. It really was. Enjoyed it. It was good man. What do you got? Cody?
Why wouldn't the fairy what the Hebrews go? Wow,
you gave it hot there. That was?
Oh, was it too?
It was great. No, it was amazing. Is this better? You You are right up on that mic. is totally fine.
No liability for us on this podcast.
No, we're real estate agents. Now. We're still going out agents.
Papers go. Why is then denied.
Attaboy. Much better? You just were really excited about the joke, which I appreciate. You know, so I'd be more than I've got that person. did Eve have a date with Adam Tyler? No. Just Well, this is just an apple that's not even accurate. Well, my jokes not even accurate. We don't know that she had an Apple didn't even have a date with Adam. No, just a fruit. That was a terrible joke. Alright, let's get to this topic. You've got two great scriptures for you today. Matthew five, which code is going to read in John 13, which Tyler is going to read so Cody, what you got banned? Read Matthew 546. For us,
Matthew 546. For if you love those who love you, what reward Do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
It's good. I'm gonna jump in to this verse and then get our conversation going here in John 13. A new commandment I give to you that you love one another just as I have loved you, you also are the love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another and I'm gonna reach 35 One more time by this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another. And so we were to jump right into the dialogue here we were kind of talking offline beforehand about a couple of different things. And you know, we speak a lot into you know, what it looks like to love our neighbor, what it looks like to shepherd our family to take care of our team and practically what it looks like to to lead our customers through or customers or clients through through a transaction. But one of the questions that that seemed to pop up was, you know, in reference to loving people, even when it's hard, right, so if we look back at Matthew five, a very convicting part to that is, as Jesus is talking, he says, like did not even the pagans greet and love and take care of their own people, the people that look like them that sound like them talk like them, that think like them that are on the same team as them like that. It's easy to love and to take care of those people. I mean, that's, that's a natural responsibility that even an unbeliever would choose to do most of the time, right? So as Christians, what does it look like for us to take care of the person on the opposite side of the table that maybe is at enmity with us that's an enmity with God that's at enmity with our our beliefs, but even though like to drill down more practically speaking, what about like the agents that are on the opposite side of a transaction that, you know, occasionally there are agents that that run their business on the platform of I'm gonna compete the most for you and negotiate the hardest, I'm going to win the deal. And they and they view every transaction is a zero sum game, whereas I have to win. The only way I win is if you lose, or vice versa. And so as Christians, how do we embrace the mindset of loving Our enemy and coming alongside them and finding creative ways to bring them onto the same side of the table for the greater good of our of our clients for the greater good of the transaction, and most importantly for the greater good of just loving them for the kingdom sake. So I want to ask you, G and Cody, when you deal with maybe agents that handle their business that way, you know, it's it's good to be competitive, it's good to, you know, want the best for your for your clients, because you have a fiduciary duty and responsibility to get them the absolute best deal. We're not just, you know, playing in the sandbox here. But there's an effective means of collaboration to come to a win win. So when you guys deal with those agents that are a challenge on the opposite end of the phone, what does it look like for you guys? How do you how do you broach that topic with them?
Go ahead, go. What do you thing? Yeah, absolutely.
Love it. It's our Thank you. Yeah, you just you love them. And that's super simple. But that's, that's the reality of it. I mean, you know, we do get into situations where people are difficult to deal with. And that's the biggest part of this industry, I think, and you unfortunately, do come in contact with a lot agents that do not do things the way you do. They're overly competitive from a standpoint of, it's all about me. And that's really unfortunate. And, you know, one thing that we just tried to do is not be that way, it just, you know, we have, like you said, we have a fiduciary responsibility to our clients, but we also have a responsibility, you know, from our faith standpoint to love like Jesus loved and so what we've been trying to do, you know, from a business standpoint, is just be who God's called us to be. And, you know, grow a business that is based on relationship and based on loving people and not cold calling, and not, you know, buying leads and things like that. It's we don't need to we just love people and love them through relationship. And that's, that's how we grow our business. And it's pretty much that simple. And when you have someone on the other side, you know, hopefully through the way that we conduct our business, it will inspire them to do the same. Hopefully changing industry. Yeah,
yeah, it's good. I think that that's the right question to and I'll just say this, it's really difficult, you know, the loving someone, as we all would agree, doesn't mean we just lay over and let them walk all over us. Right? We're not doormats, and we do go to fight, we do go to battle for our clients, right, in a way that is loving. And I'll give you an example. I mean, so many times I've had Cody, I'm sure you've had in the audience listening is the experience where the other agent is rude or just straight up a jerk. Right. I mean, I had I had an experience, I'll tell you real quickly, when we were had our I think it was our second kid. Dylan. I was in the hospital day after Dylan was born, we were under one of the houses we had were under contract was the listing agent. And Ariana was my assistant at the time calls me and said, I'm so sorry, I know that, like I don't want to be bothering you. But I just got to tell you what's going on. Right? This agent has gone crazy. And she tells me all this stuff, the agent is emailing my broker and emailing her, including her clients on it, which is weird. And emailing her broker and all the people involved in saying I'm not doing my job, because I'm not responding to her, even though she knew knows we were in the hospital having a baby. So the next day, I call her back. And she was just so angry. And she was like, I get it, you had a baby. But it's been two days, you need to call me back. And I'm like, Excuse me, you don't get to determine that right? I have an assistant here for a reason. Now, in transparency and total honesty. In that moment. I did not love her. I very much disliked this woman. Right. And I don't know that I treated her very well initially. But we kept continuing to have the conversation. We got off the phone. And so I call my client, I say here's what's going on. He was like, Dude, why are you calling me you just had a baby, right? He's respectful of the time. And I said, here's what's going on, right. And for me out of love for my client, I wanted to be completely transparent. She's frustrated that this she thinks we're not doing the service to her buyers. She thinks we're trying to, you know, whatever it is, and none of that was true. But this is what's going on. And he got really upset. He wasn't a believer, he got really upset. And he was like, well just do this and do that and tell him forget the whole thing and, you know, doesn't matter, blah, blah, he was just really angry. And so in that scenario, what was interesting, I think as a follower of Christ is he is having a response based on what she did, based on what our clients was doing. And in a in a non Christian world, his response was warranted, right. And so here I've got as the believer in this group and believer between these two people, he's really angry, not at me, right? He's really angry at this other person. Well, this other person's really angry at me and quite honestly, I'm really frustrated with are. But as a believer, it was my responsibility to think though and Cody, you mentioned this, how would a believer act right? How would someone who loves Christ act in this scenario? So I calmed down the seller and said, Man, I totally understand the things that you're feeling, we still want to try to treat them, right. We still want to do even if they're not going to do right by us, we need to do right by them. And he got to the point was like, Alright, I agree. So I called the other lady back, she was still really angry. And I just kind of listened, even though it was hard. And then I said, we still want to do right by you. Here's what we're offering. And here's what we're willing to do. She was getting angry. And I just said, You know what, I need to hop off the phone. I don't think this conversation is productive. And I don't want to be frustrated at you. Right. So I told you what we were willing to offer, please talk to your clients and let me know. Now, that transaction still went terribly. Right, because she just stayed angry. But it's difficult when everyone around you as angry as the believer to not get pulled into that and say, Man, I but I can't just call her and start yelling, right? I can't just say, Yeah, client, you're doing the right thing. Forget the buyer, the screw them, let's just not give them anything. That's not good, either. And that's a really hard spot to be. And I think that's where you just are trusting the Lord, to walk you through that. But having good people in your life where you can just call and say, Cody, dude, just walk me through this, bro, because I'm really frustrated. And I need help. And this is difficult. Yeah. Have you had times like that? Cody?
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, in those times me just about will call just to pray for your instance, that lady, you know, she was your enemy for a time. And, you know, the Bible, you know, calls us to pray for our enemies. And that's all you can do. And I think one of the best things you can you can do from a face standpoint, or a business standpoint is to do just that. And, you know, have the heart posture in, even in those moments where you're just so frustrated to just stop and say, Lord, whatever that lady's dealing with, you know, you know, better than she even she knows it. And so you just pray that she works out whatever it is. But one of the other practical things that I think, you know, they wanted to say was, you know, the Bible talks about, you know, the way that we should love and treat people and stuff like that throughout Scripture. And if you lead into every single relationship that you enter into, it's much less likely that you'll get into those kinds of situations. Now, you know, in your situation here, I mean, this. I don't think there's anything you could have done to prevent that. Some people are just like that, unfortunately, they're going through something we don't know what people are going through. But unfortunately, that's that's the way it is. But I think there's a lot of instances where if we lead into each relationship from day one, and set that expectation, if you will, that this is the way I'm gonna love you. This is the way that I'm going to conduct my business. You do really, I think, avoid a lot of those confrontations and stuff because that's, yeah, that's what we what we preach and teach.
Yeah, that's good. Yeah, I mean, to jump into that specific example, I mean, Scripture tells us not to repay evil with evil, you know, and the Beatitudes. So last Beatitude, and in Matthew five, the sermon on the mount and beatitude chain is blessed are the peacemakers. We will call this so peace amongst, you know, God's creation amongst our brothers amongst everybody that we interact with not to throw gas on the fire. Right. And so, you know, a couple practical things is one I mean, that's a learned skill. I mean, there's there's a lot of self awareness that goes into a position like that, where are you somebody that escalates? Are you somebody that says Peace, and, like, don't hear me say that I'm not the one that escalates it, because it's like that is very, very easy to do. And it's easier in certain certain spaces, it's easier than than others to be the escalator versus the escalator, you know, kind of the more familiarity and the closer you are with people sometimes the easier it is to escalate because of the trust that exists there rather than fighting for the integrity of the relationship. That's why you hear you know, a lot of spousal relationship conflict results in fights are a lot of, you know, you know, parents, a child or brother, all those things because it just escalates easier because you revert back to, you know, peace in an easier way. So, one, like the tactical thing is just self awareness on on what type of personality that you have in that. And then truly, if you're one that is not a good s or is not a good peacemaker is looking for a way to how to be a better peacemaker is, is truly, again, self awareness of body posture of tone of inflection of how you're responding to people. If somebody is escalating and you recognize that they're escalating our pride and our flesh demands, wants to react and wants to and wants to be in control and wants to meet The same way. So how do we talk them back from that? Well, we use tones that are under self control, you know, one of the fruits of the Spirit. So how do we, how do we speak in a mild mannered tone? How do we speak in a confident tone that, again, isn't submissive isn't rolling over is still fighting for the integrity of the circumstance. But how do you command that they bring themselves to that level rather than meeting them at theirs? And that and that, that, again, takes skill. And that takes patience, and it takes a lot of swallowing of pride. But those are the best ways in that moment to it's a lot of inward dialogue. But that's how you're loving them by you're, you're you're loving them by taking them off the ledge that they're ready to jump off of, or the hill that they're ready to die on. You're you're talking them off of that. By lead. I mean, you're leading them without them even realizing it.
Yeah, it's good. It let me give practical advice, just have kids, and you'll practice it all the time. You'll just have that practice over and over have of talking kindly and stuff. But yeah, and I'll give another quick example of where I did it terribly. We were negotiating with somebody, and the agent was just so rude. And I was trying, but I'm a sinner. And I don't think anyone's surprised by that. Tyler mentions it all the time. And I'm just kidding. But I am I've been terrible senator, saved by grace man. And, and I was really rude with this guy, like just had had it. Just so rude. I remember getting off the phone, and it worked. But I remember getting off the phone. And the next day, I called him and I just said, and this guy is not nice, right? So even just confessing and apologizing to him was not going to be fun. And I called him and I said, Man, I need to apologize the way I spoke to you yesterday, I should not have done that. And I apologized. And he was like, Yeah, whatever. Right? And that's what he said. And we hung up and okay. But like my responsibility to him, doesn't, it is not a result of what he does to me. Right? One of the ways we love is even if again, that's what Matthew says, is it's easy to love, or that's what it says in Matthew, it's easy to love those who love you, it's really hard to do the opposite. To love the people who don't and so even do it that and then one more piece of practical advice. Now I've got a team, right, so it's Cody, but Jesse use my lead agent, he can get frustrated more easily than I do. And so genuinely one of the things he does, which I think is really wise, is if he finds himself really frustrated in the situation, he says, Garrett, can you please call and get involved? Right? Because I'm a little bit more calm than he is. And he's on the phone, but I do the talking. Right? So he knows like, Man, I don't want to get frustrated. That's not going to be serving people well, and so will you please step in. And so maybe you're an agent, that's a solo agent, and but you know, someone who you just trust, have them get involved, right, or let them help you through the process, maybe talk to the client or talk to agent, whatever. I would say that that's been really valuable in my business, and in my career as well. You know, kind of as we come to the end here, Cody, you know, I think that I don't want to just talk about the people that we don't like, right, but but how do we love on the people that we do love really well, that are believers, and I think you do a good job of that in your own business, Cody, so just give us some examples of you know, what that looks like, brother?
Yeah, absolutely. You know, and I purchase from a culture standpoint from with my team. I don't have any team that has better culture with us, I get to go to work with my best friends every day. And it's amazing, and they're easy to love most of the time. And yeah, I just make sure that their needs are met before mine, you know, and being a servant leader, in getting down on their level and just saying, look, as I'm one of you, I'm not above you in any way, I'm here to serve you. And they respond really well out of that. And I would look, I want to lead in a way that I would hope that someone would leave me if I was on the other side. And so yeah, just that I mean, I know that they're taking care of that I'm taking care of and if I if I love the business and love them, they also love the business, and will take up with me when I need it as well. So
it's good man, and when we are fully aware of who we are loved by, and what that means about our identity and what that means about our eternal state. Right praise God for the ability to not be made weary by a bad relationship with a client or a bad relationship with another agent. Right? We can stand steadfast because our identity and our security is not changed one minute from what might happen or what the result might be or how someone treats us So praise God for that. Cody man. Can you read that? Matthew five verse, verse again. And t I can grab John 13 If you'd like me to. I got him. Got it. Cool. All right, Cody, give us Matthew five buddy
Matthew 546 Four. If you love those who love you? What reward Do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same?
John 1334 to take us home a new commandment I give to you that you love one another just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.
Amen. Faithful agents God and love one another. We'd love for you to join our community. You can check it out and share this with a friend. One of the ways that we're trying to love on us to do this podcast that's an encouragement. So thanks, faithful agent for tuning in. We'll see you next week.